What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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-Why was little Johnny sad? >Why? -Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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Dislike if you are a prostitute

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Q: Why was the little girl cowering in a closet in a corner. A: Because there was a murderer/rapist in her house with her oarents gone.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the chicken cross the road It was being dragged to the other side by fox It's the way of life _._._

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

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What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it? A coconut.

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what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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what do you call a gay guy? kevin

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whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

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What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

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roses are red poo is poo

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops