Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

thumb_up thumb_down +28

The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

star wars kid

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A boy with red hair is happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's big fat and ugly? A monster

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops