Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Rylan Clark

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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