Your mumma is so fat, she has diabetes.

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A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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You come home and find your family dead. What do you do? Take a picture, post it on facebook

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Why were the Jews stuck in Germany? Because Joseph Rosenstein and his Jewish family missed their train out of Frankfurt to go to Paris, and so they had to stay another night in their hotel.

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why is cancer a big thing because its bad

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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What do you call two blacks on a bike? Two good friends having a good time.

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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Why are black people black? Because they're clearly not white.

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What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

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Knock Knock Who's There? Steve Steve who? Your friend Steve, you called and told me to come over. Oh, come in.

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A man says to his wife, "Honey, sex just hasn't been the same lately." "That's probably because of my yeast infection," replies his wife.

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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