Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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The american education system.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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why cant women draw perfect circles? no one can becouse it is virtually impossible

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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"When there's something srange, in your neighborhood... who you gonna call..?" The cops

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

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What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

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What did the Japanese kid get for his birthday? Nothing, his gifts were washed away.

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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123 f*ck off

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why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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