A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

What is the different on a black guy and a bicycle ? The black guy steals the bicycle, but the bicycle dont steal the black guy. Yes, my bike got stolen ...

Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

how do you find will smith in the snow? look for his teeth

roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

whats better then a pile of dead babies? 2 piles of dead babies

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

My black friend love grape soda and koolaid, with his fried chicken, and i dont think its racist cuz i also enjoy the same things at times

chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

What did Thomas Jefferson's children call him? Grandpa

Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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