A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

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Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

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What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

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So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

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- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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I'm tired.

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Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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