what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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Your mumma is so fat, she has diabetes.

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this website is a bad joke

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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wouldnt it be ironic if chuck norris was shooting blanks

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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Two Iranian men walk into a bar and order a Coke and a Lemonade. The Barman said take a seat and he'll bring them over.

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Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

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a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

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Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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What did Michael jackson say to Abraham Lincoln? Nothing, there are both currently deceased, if they did, however, say something to each other, it would not be in person, because they are both dead.

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What do you call flashlight in an Asian kids room what ever the brand is

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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