what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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Life is like a bridge. You get walked on all your life until you fall apart.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

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Okay.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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what did one computer say to the other .........

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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What did Superman get for Christmas. Nothing as he likes to stay detached from society.

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What did the cute little girl get for Christmas? Raped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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