One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

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Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

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What do you get when you cross Skyrim and Call of Duty? A video game that has similarities to Skyrim and Call of Duty.

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How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

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Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Whats the difference between males and females? fe

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

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What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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If life gives you lemonade.

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops