So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

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So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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