Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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Mum makes $97 per hour working online? Offline I can see , but online, mmm pull the other one, it plays lossless codecs

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Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

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I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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Q: What did jerry sandusky do with little boys alone? A: Teach them how to play football

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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