How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why was the 6 year old boy crying? his mother had just passed away from terminal cancer and his stepdad caught him crying so he kicke hm in the face and told him to man up.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What has nine arms and sucks? Four children with two arms snacking on a lollipop, and one child with one arm snacking on a lollipop.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do you call a gay ginger boy ? Ronan.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do you call a black drug dealer? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

who lives a pineapple under the sea? a proper spazztwat.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How long does it take for a black woman to have a shit. 9 months.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a man with a horse? A man

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Jerry Sandusky walks into an Under 21

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops