What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I tried to play soccer a long time ago. I didn't score and managed to get red card... Then I realized it was not my thing

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A rapist walks into a bar He orders a drink He wakes up the next morning naked on a hot chick He leaves not realizing that he is nude and is promptly escorted by the police to jail

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the American WWII soldier say to the Feudal-era samurai? Nothing, because the two lived on completely different continents and in completely different time periods.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what did the man living in the box buy with his new found money? A bigger box.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Lady, calm down, you are missing out on the details here. We knew he was selling information as "The Wiz", from there on it was no problem tracking him down, but having us track him down at the core of Point Zero, would have dragged you all down with him, he was into sharing not only precious Intel, but also some sick shit, nobody is going to mourn him, and neither should you. We sent him a tip so he would get to some location where he would still be able to bypass the lockdown (easy to assume a little geek knows how to manage this), but a small anonymous tip would never have been enough to make him run for it, the next part was to make sure the info on his anonymous message, begin to come true. Sorry about the rest, I needed to know what position he had among "the Order", and he was shot down by a sniper, he knew too much, his involvement, and abilities as both a liar and a traitor, could easily have made it so he would have lied the blame on you, so he could have gone free. And believe me, this happens a lot, and is probably what happened to the old underground as well, think about it, you begin selling some dirty info videos, pictures of things nobody should see in the name of some "organization" (I have no idea what you call your thing, and it is best you never tell me). Then what is left? You claim the entire organization you work for, are the ones responsible for your dirty work, you tell your captors, and you go home rewarded with freedom taking the whole organization down with you, when in this case, the one that would have gone free, would have been the only one to blame. I know what the rest of you are doing, I mean I was part of its foundation years ago, and there is nothing illegal about it, yet people such as the feds would as they did, have brought the whole place down again, and as they had nothing to accuse us for back then other than "we do not like this", they never shared this to the mainstream media. Cant have that happening again, no matter the cost, and if you ask me, some small geek pedophile selling bullshit, should not blame you all, but die, that is justice. It was not "nice knowing me", we will meet again, I mean it, even if I have to get your cell number on "gray terms", you might not like it, but I will call you, on friendly terms of course. The setup is finished, got to go, cant sit here typing on my laptop anymore, gotta get back to the office.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops