What's 2+2? Fish

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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Why Americans are so bad at League of Legends? Because they can't defend their towers.

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What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Dislike if you are a prostitute

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Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? Someone else's cheese.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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a man offers an innocent little child some candy from his van upon arrival the child is raped and beaten suverily. -teagan doherty-

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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