what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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who has moral fiber? a cerial killer

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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