Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black man fishing. ... a fisherman racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"This is what kind of fail class?" "AN EPIC FAIL!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Engage in a lively debate with a friend, and when they are about to stump you, respond to whatever they say next with "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

thumb_up thumb_down +1

human centipede

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why Is Billy So Dumb? He Didin't Pass School

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is funnier than 24? If you think numbers are funny then you could have a mental illness and that isn't quite funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops