Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

SEX IS LIKE MATH ADD THE BED SUBTRACT THECLOTHES DIVIDE THE LEGS AND PRAY U DONT MULTIPLY!!!!

Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

What did the little boy with cancer ask for from the Make a Wish foundation. A cure and to lose his virginity before he dies.

Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

The Chinese government. The way they treat their citizens just isn't funny.

What did the young Muslim man have attached to him? A book-bag, it was is his first week college and he eager for an education.

What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

What did little Timmy get for Christmas? Abandoned

Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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