Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

Why did the jew kill himself? He heard a raciest joke and went into a period of depresion causing him to lose all will to live.

How are this and that alike? They aren't.

What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

What's green and gets you high? Marijuana.

What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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