A blonde goes to school, and completes a difficult math problem.

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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What did the T-Rex say to the caveman? Nothing. Tyrannosaurus Rex was a prehistoric land animal that roamed the Earth roughly 65 million years before the appearance of man. Making such a conversation impossible.

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Coke or Pepsi? Trick question, beer.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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what did one lady say to another lady we are both ladies

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Dyslexic drunk died choking on his own vimto last night

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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penis. nuff said.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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