There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

Morning wood.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

What's worse than someone who thinks Sting is a nice guy? Sting.

What do you catch a baby with? A pitchfork

How many gay people does it take to make a football team? 11

Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

4 men walk into a bar. They have fun. ~Yasmin~

A house comes around the corner.

What's better than a stick? A stone

Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

What do you call a rich black person? A: Oprah

Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...