A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

whats funny about the klu klux klan? nothing is funny at all about it because they cause pain and suffering to afircan amaricans and other ethnic groups.

why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...