Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +12

roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops