'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

A man and his friend go hunting,one falls in a hole and appears dead. The friend calls 911 and asks what to do, the operator says ok first we need to make sure he's dead. The friend checks his pulse and finds out he is living, then an ambulance is sent and the hunter lives with minor injuries.

Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

What do you call a Black White supremisist? Well you see the Black man was blind and thought he was a racists redneck. He then contracted cancer.

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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