Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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When's the best time to kill a black man? Never. Committing murder is a felony and constitutes as highly immoral.

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Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

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What blew the baby's mind? Daddy's knuckles.

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Why is an Orange, Orange??? Because its not blue!

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What did the Black women tell her Asian boyfriend in bed Nothing because they don't talk when they are sleeping

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What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

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dad said he had to drop the kids off at the pool what does that mean mom? honey it means dad has to take a shit beacuase shit looks like retarded black kids with down sydrome

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Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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