don't do anything i wouldn't do first

what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting ass-raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

NO ONE LIKES RANGAS

How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

Knock Knock Who's there? Yes.

what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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