What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

Have ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither has she.

Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

One, two, three, four and five

What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

I wrote a funny joke.

What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

The Princess is in another castle

what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

Your mama is so black, she contributes regularly to the NAACP and the United Negro College Fund. Her donations and volunteer work help greatly.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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