Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

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Why is six afraid of seven? SE7EN!

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops