What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

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Eight hours? Sigh, leave it to me then! We both know you are a sweetheart behind that thick skull of yours, I mean why would you ask if it bothers me then?

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Hitler walks into a temple..... Oh wait he died

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What do you do when you find a black man rolling around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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