Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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A man walks into a bar, he realizes he has no money and leaves

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops