What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

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did you hear the joke about the vagina ....... you'll never get it

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why did your mum die young because she had canser

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Little boy blew! Little boy blew who? Micheal Jackson....

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the chicken cross the road It was being dragged to the other side by fox It's the way of life _._._

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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Whos better at Hide and go Seek, Anne Frank or Osama Bin Laden? -Why dont you tell me, they're both dead !

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Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Why did the homosexual man buy the antijoke book he enjoys reading

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Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Why did the man punch the women? I don't know, but he served jailtime

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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