A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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swag

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Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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What did the penguin say to the peacock? Die, you homosexual!

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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