What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

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What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

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knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

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What do you call hunter ? An anerexic that is skinny as a tooth pick. Duh

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All Bin Laden wanted was peace on earth and good will toward men.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Hey whats sad about 4 black people going over a cliff in a cadillac. Nothing

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Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

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What is black, white, and red all over? something that just so happens to be seen by the color blind.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

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What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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12/23/2012

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops