I woke up in bed with someone this morning. ... Hah.

Q. Which one do you hate more? Jews, Mexicans, or Asians. A. I hate all of them, but jews are annoying when they resist getting stuffed in the oven.

Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

What do you call a dog with no legs Nothing it won't come

Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn.

Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

Are you made out of silicon, because you are silly and your name is Con.

What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

How do u wake up lady gaga You go into her room and yell at her

A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

What did your Little brother get for Christmas? Lice.

why did the girl cry while watching starwars? She was being raped

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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