A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

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A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

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What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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