How do you confuse and anger a blonde? Kill her family and loved ones and say you did it because potato.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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A black man and a white woman walk into a bar and celebrate their interracial marriage anniversary over a couple of drinks and then call a cab to avoid driving while intoxicated

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What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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12/23/2012

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dyslexics of the world untie!

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Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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Knock Knock! Whos there? The Game!

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You're momma is so dumb, she has troubles passing her math unit and should seriously consider a math touter

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What do you give a black man for his Christmas? A gift that you feel would suit his personality so that he may draw enjoyment from said gift.

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We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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