Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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c======3

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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