numbers just make the funniest antijokes

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

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what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

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What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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Guy 1: When your Justin Beiber af. Guy 2: What Guy 1: Do you mean

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

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your mum

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin that someone shot with red paintballs.

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A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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Why did the Bruins win against the Flyers? ....they had goal tending.

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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sean punches bryce in the face, sean then says ow you just punched me in the face. that hurt

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Why was the black man picking cotton? Because he was in an area where slavery is a socially and morally accepted practice.

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Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunett: i don't know Blonde: NOBODY KNOWS!!!

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why did the chicken cross the road? He saw his family getting murdered and tried to stop it but got hit in the process

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why did the f a g perform fellatio? because he was a sick c unt

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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