Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

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Columbus Day... A day to remember the anniversary of Columbus enslaving America.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Your mother is so fat.

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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The verification for this post was debatable: "Which of these does not belong?" George Bush Barack Obama Bill Clinton Ronald Reagan Head of Cabbage Answers on a postcard please... [L]

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

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Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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Half life 3 confirmed

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did u hear the one about helen keler neather did she

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kill yourself....with a cigarette

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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butt bananan appe aeriugbahrei bviaAETRGNARJEOGBAEROUGBAREOGABINGBIFDUVHR9EH VARVBNF V BAR GABNER UGH 8U78 6 78 C 877 86IHUR T HUGU GHG HU GHUG ERHU; BGIU AHUB HOAU AOH;UGG RJHI NJB NBJ NAJF BNJ NJ IJ BB B NNB UB OH UAERFNSKALDF AHUAWRETFBSUGFHAUNVCHCIWERCFO4F[U940RU320RY4 33 4TVNO34INRT4`UR1C34BT4567=95084651898549+0451467016849=80 .97.8

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What did one penguin say to the other? Flippty-flop-dop-boop-de-bop. Jazzhands.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops