What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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What's funnier than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? Nothing, infant mortality is not a laughing matter.

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

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Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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Knock Knock who's there docter docter who??? YOU JUST SAID IT DUMBO!!!!!! lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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