Morning wood.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

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What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

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Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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What is more addictive than World Of Warcraft? Heroin

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops