Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

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What does a Somalian want for Christmas? Nothing hes Sunni Muslim and does not celebrate Christmas

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What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

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What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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