I need a way to meet local babes and get ripped in 4 weeks. Shame there aren't any popularly advertised methods of doing that around here...

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

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Two cannibals are eating a clown one turns to the other and asks "does this taste funny to you?" The other cannibal says " yeah because the clown has been dead for weeks."

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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why did Suzy play jump rope with the neighbors kids? She had no legs!

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

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whats black and large -me

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how could you not hav not died of dehyderation?

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Why did the deer cross the road? It didn't, the animal species is incapable of having a logical reason to possessing the will to cross a road. ruhtard

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was tired of the people on the side she was on who told lame anti jokes, so she tried to stay away from them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops