Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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Q: What did the donkey say to the man? A: "Hello there, sir." it was later discovered the man was tripping on the hallucinogen LSD. Later on the man plummeted to his death after being convinced that he was a pterodactyl, and jumping off of a cliff.

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What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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My wife is going to the Caribbean Jamaica? No, St Lucia

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A white man walks into a bar. Then he gets a beer.

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

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Why did a white man get kicked out of the Olympics 2012¿ Because he did not have down syndrome

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when choosing a bedtime story.... jack the rippers life stories is not a good idea... ........................................................................

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Getting voted down to page 4067

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What do u call 2 black people in the front of a car 3 in the back and 2 on top of the car going off a clif? A waste u can fit 2 more in the trunk

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How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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