Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

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What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

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What happened when the black woman moved to the front of the bus? There were no seats available but everyone was very nice about it. She also asked for gum. Somebody did have gum. Which was nice.

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

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A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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