I have an idea! You leave.

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Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

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What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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I came up with one when my friend Sam told me the fortune from her Jone's Soda. A change of heart may lead to a new living environment, a change of heart may also lead to death.

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Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

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Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

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Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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A tiger walks into bar. He orders a drink and leaves. The tiger's name was Tony the tiger," It was just a man wearing a costume for the cereal company.

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The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

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Whats green? The color green.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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