What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Question:Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Answer:Because she had no arms or legs. Question:What did little Susie get for Christmas? Answer: a bike, and cancer Question: what did little Susie get next Christmas? Answer: nothing, she didn't live that long... Knock knock Who's there Not little Susie

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? I can't remember... :(

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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Q:Why did the black man fall down? A: he got hit in the face by a refrigerator

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What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops