have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Why did the camel cross the road? He was off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of OZ.

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99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

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Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alexis. Hi, come in!

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Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

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Knock knock who's there Betty Betty who?` ` my grandmother who passed away 2 years ago dont talk about her that was

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What do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A pilot.

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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So a man walking down a nature trail came across an injured fox laying on the ground in pain, it looked like it was attacked recently. There wasn't much the man could do at the time, so he gently picked up the fox and rushed the fox to his house. The man arrives moments later at his house with the fox. There were a lot of options the man could choose, but he went with a simple recipe. The man grabbed a knife and gutted the fox, removing all unnecessary organs. He then skinned the fox of it's fur. He sliced the head off, cut the legs to a stub, and stuffed it. He gave it a nice seasoning and placed it in the oven at about 350F for 6 hours. When the fox was perfectly cooked, it was taken out of the oven and left to sit for about 5 minutes to cool. He cut a chunk of meat from the dish and sat down to eat. "What a fine meal" the man said.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops