Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

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Did u think that last joke was funny? Well this one isnt

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Why did the ceiling fall down? Because there weren't any walls.

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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What do u call a ginger man with no ears? What ever the hell u want Because he's deaf

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

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What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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I came up with one when my friend Sam told me the fortune from her Jone's Soda. A change of heart may lead to a new living environment, a change of heart may also lead to death.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? It's socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

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How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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