How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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Flowers are colors Love me

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Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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*puts thumbs up on own anti-joke. Nobody needs to know....

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? AIDS

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knock knock who's there funny funny who a funny joke

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops