My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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What happened while Thomas crossed the street? He got hit by a truck. What happened to Billy? He was Thomas's Siamese twin, and he too met the same fate.

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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Your mom is so old she died

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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