I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

dyslexics of the world untie!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse than the Holocaust? A worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what did the man say when he was reading a book? nothing, if u assume the situation when hes reading to himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

read this sentence again.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the girl's clitoris cut off? Her country practiced Sharia Law.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You are the most beautiful person in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What happen to the man who got drunk and passed out behind the wheel? He crashed into a tree, his car caught fire and then he got incinerated.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why couldn't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? He was struck by a very serious disease, otherwise known as refrigerator to the face, at the age of 5.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the black girl happy? She got a raise.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

thumb_up thumb_down -20

My dog poops u pick it up if i poop ill say f@#% you eat it DumbS%^&

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops