Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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Yo mama so fat when she sat around the hous she sat AROUND the house

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Knock knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The interrupting doct... You have Cancer

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How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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Why was the jewish boy crying? i lied he was happy.

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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