Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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What's the difference between and train carriage and a miscarriage? You can't eat a train carriage!

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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69

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A house comes around the corner.

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How do we know that Adam was white? We don't. The Bible doesn't specify the race or etnicity of either Adam or Eve.

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Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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Why did the gay man not walk straight? Because I took a jack hammer to his foot

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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