What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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Tall asians

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops