Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

guess what? bannanas

What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder and help him down

What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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