What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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Neither have I

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

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Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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i put a oie in the oven, it baked

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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