Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Do you play piano? No

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What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

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Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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