why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Immigration. You're headed back to mexico.

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Boxing on Boxing Day

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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Roses are cars, violets are rude, this poem makes no sense, neither do you

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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Sir, your wife is dead

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Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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Knock Knock Come in

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Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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