How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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